Work, Life, Growth

I’ll be honest—I thought that as time progressed that I would not have to deal with imposter syndrome and that as I learned more, I would radiate with confidence. I mean, I’ve worked hard to get where I am, so why would this not be the case, right? I built my career as a physical therapist, started my own business, my husband and I homeschool the kids, and I manage to keep up with all of the other tasks required to function in life. Okay, so I currently have two  loads of laundry that need to be folded, one that I just put in the washer machine, and a load of linen that needs to be washed. Yes, I will admit that I’m still a work in progress. On the outside, it might look like I have everything under control. But the truth? Some days, I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. 

Quite frankly, I sometimes feel like I am a mess and I’ve caught myself thinking (and more frequently that I’d like to admit):

• I’m not qualified enough to run a business and expand.
• Other professionals are doing things that I could never do.
• Other mothers have it more together than I do.
• Why do people keep asking me questions as if I have a solution?

Imposter Syndrome: The Mental Battle No One Talks About

For the longest time, I assumed that imposter syndrome was something only beginners struggled with. I’ve come to realize that it actually affects those with high aspirations and goals to achieve. I started noticing this more as when I began mentoring others. I recognized how successful they were and could not imagine why they did not see their own accomplishments and drive. It became even more apparent as working with students made me hyper-aware.

I distinctly remember having a conversation with a physical therapist who was only a year into the profession, where he told me that he did not feel competent to be treating baseball players and asked that I take a pediatric baseball player. Mind you, he graduated with honors from his physical therapy program and played baseball in college. I honestly do not know someone who would be more qualified; yet, he could not see this fact. 

I also remember working with a therapist who told me that she often questioned her reasoning. She has been practicing for the majority of my life, has seen many changes within physical therapy, and patients thrive under her care. Can you tell that she is someone I admire? Needless to say, she is astute in many ways. Yet, she still reaches out to me with some of the same intrusive thoughts of imposter syndrome. 

My personal experience has shown me that the more we push ourselves to grow, the more we can feel like we don’t belong in the rooms we’ve worked so hard to be in. 

Now for my parents out there, just know that it is not just professional spaces where imposter syndrome kicks in. It sneaks into parenting, teaching, and personal growth, too. I’ve had days where I wondered if I was really capable of giving my kids the education they deserve or if my thinking was surreal. I have had days where I feel like I am not adequate in teaching my children, and that I am not providing a meaningful learning experience. Mind you, we do experiments, go on field trips, read lots of books, and participate in homeschool group activities. They also go on shopping trips in the basement using money to buy their pretend food to stock their pretend kitchen, so that way they can make me a pretend gourmet meal. Despite all of these activities with my tiny humans, those intrusive thoughts of imposter syndrome try to surface. 

Having this conversation with others has made me more transparent in admitting that I have imposter syndrome. It has helped me navigate and develop tools to help shift my mindset so that I can be empowered rather than frightened and discouraged. And the irony of it all for me, is that I have learned that the very fact that we worry about not being good enough is usually proof that we are doing something right. (Thank you for my mini therapy session that you have read through thus far.)

How to Shift Your Mindset and Overcome Imposter Syndrome

If you’ve ever doubted yourself—even when you have every reason to believe in your abilities—here’s what has helped me push past those mental barriers. 

1. Catch the Negative Thoughts and Reframe Them

I used to tell myself, I don’t know enough to run a business. Now, I shift that thought to: I am always learning and growing. I remind myself that I have had other experiences that have led and prepared me for this moment. 

Instead of saying I’m not doing enough for my kids, I remind myself: I am showing up for them every day to the best of my ability, and that matters. My children know that I love them, and even when I am a frazzled mess, they know that I am dedicated to their growth.

Rather than saying I don’t know why people always ask me questions about certain topics. I remind myself: These are topics I have spent a lot of time studying and researching and that I can provide proper guidance.

2. Keep a “Brag” List

Whenever I get positive feedback from a client, see progress in my business, or watch my kids thrive in their learning, I would love to say that I write it all down, but I don’t. I should and this would be helpful. So, if you are someone who can remember to write down these successes, then do it. This will become your “brag” list. Recently, I have learned to document these moments through pictures. It is great to look back on these moments, and to realize the people I have in my corner on this journey. On tough days, I look back at this list to remind myself of goals met and achievements conquered. 

3. Normalize It—Even the People You Admire Can Feel This Way

One of the most freeing things I’ve realized is that no one actually feels like they have it all figured out. (Now some people are not willing to admit that they don’t have it all figured out, and that’s a completely different issue.) The business owners I look up to? They’ve struggled with self-doubt, and made a lot of mistakes along the way. The moms who inspire me and who I look at in awe, have also made comments that they feel as if they do not meet the mark. 

I won’t say ALL, but a lot of people question themselves. I have been in meetings with individuals who are at the top of their industry and they can motivate others, but then make remarks that indicate their insecurities. One thing that I will emphasize, is that they are surrounded by people who can remind them of what they have accomplished, and hold them accountable for when they need that as well.

Final Thoughts

Unfortunately, we have been conditioned overtime that these feelings make us less than, but that just isn’t the case. These feelings make us human and the more we talk about it, the less power it has over us.

There are more things that I could mention that have helped me cope with the mental barriers related to imposter syndrome, but I’ll stop there because too much can be overwhelming. And, if you are overwhelmed in the midst of feeling like an imposter, then that could lead to more mental blocks. Instead, take these three insights and see if you can apply at least one into your daily mindset. Your mindset is something that you have to train, so be patient with yourself.